I’ve known people who were habitually in the victim mode, helpless and powerless – until they got angry. Then it was like flipping a switch and they became strong, inflexible, and perhaps mean. What happened? When I look at the situation energetically, I see someone who doesn’t feel like they have a right to speak up or they are afraid. They use anger as a lever to promote their emotions in one area in which they feel they have a right. The emotions that normally tear them down – depression and powerlessness – give way to strength that their anger gives them. Many times these people are then angry all the time. They use the emotion as a pathway to strength. Wouldn’t be nice if this was unnecessary?
When I see a person that is always angry, I see a person that cannot find strength except through the adrenaline rush and self-righteousness that they feel when they are whipped into a frenzy. When I see this dynamic in children, I always hope that they can find more room to feel self-empowered and capable before the powerless/anger/strong dynamic takes hold. This isn’t a particularly healthy way to navigate the world. I did it for years like many in my family before me. I’m so glad that I found a way off that merry-go-round with metaphysics.
Anger can be a powerful motivator for social and personal change; it has a constructive place in our world. It isn’t, however, a healthy crutch when used to simply beat obstacles into submission through emotional fury. How do you use your anger?